i hate it but i'm uncontrollably drawn to it
Posted by Phil on November 18th, around lunchtime | 132 comments
happy, you bastards?
Yes. Thank you. 10-4 good buddy.
Give Your Lady the Tuscan Mule for that special occassion.http://www.goodysonline.com/product...sie_tuscan_muleOROrder the Tuscan Mule Drink for yourselfhttp://www.countrylivingfair.com/Sp...t=m/goSection=3
Philco, can your sister come up with a Tuscan Mule design, so we can see about printing T-shirts. Keep in mind we need it rather coy so I can where the shirt in public without causing to much of a change. Navy cotton T-shirt at that. Or maybe we should start our own clothing line and call it the Tuscan Mule.
So what shirts are we having:Natty Sci originalTuscan MuleGetting Bent at the Tent
How bout a shirt for the ladies like:Natty Sci Went ALL THE WAY!I love guys with websites.I was an original Tuscan Mule at a Gettin' Bent in the Tent Natty Sci Party.Only 3 Things part thses lips: Food, Booze, and Natty Sci.
Si has a connection on screenprinting...that shirt for the Tuscan Mule is going to be interesting. Needs a top tagline for the shoulders like "Surprise, it's the Tuscan Mule baby!" or "Don't Fool with the Mule" or just "Ask Me About the Tuscan Mule"
How about: Want a REAL SHOCKER? Give your special Lady a Tuscan Mule.What doesn't kill her makes her stronger: Tuscan MuleHave you had a Tuscan Mule lately?You don't need permission get yourself a Tuscan Mule.The brillant part is all these can be used with a picture of the Tuaca liquor logo on the shirt and people will think they are legit.
Don't forget a "crazed buffalo" and "big worm" t-shirt
So, I think, first and foremost, we need some Gettin' Bent in the Tent T-shirts. Then, we need to start printing up Traditional Natty Sci t-shirts to give out as prizes (for the record, I would totally give Redman a Natty Sci t-shirt) The tuscan mule is a good idea too, although I think it should be at the bottome of our list.
How about a T-shirt with:Navy with Yellow lettering.Gettin' Bent in the Tent (front)- can include party tent logoNattysci.com (back top near neck in small print)
Fellas I found this website for tent rentals in Louisville. I think we should get together and seriously discuss this idea. If indeed we decide to get a tent for New Years, then we are gonna have to rock it out that night. Just my thoughts.http://www.derbycitytentrental.com/
If we do make shirts we need to advertise the website like Wes pointed out
Of course we can also choose gray with blue lettering..I am just suggesting we stay away from UK or UL colors as not to affiliate with any one team.
So I've actually been working today, and apparently I've missed a bunch of shit. We're getting a fucking tent?? Are you kidding me! As fun as that would be, don't get me wrong, did anyone stop to consider that with all of our drunk asses condensed into a single backyard with kegs and jager machines, there's no way that tent could possibly make it through the night without being punctured, broken, ripped, torn, puked on, shit on, pissed on, tuscan muled on, etc....That is a great idea, I'm all for it.
Douglas, the tent we are looking at will "church picnic style." Let's be honest, as hard as we roll, we ain't shit compared to 600 drunk catholics playing the cake wheels.And just for stew, from today's sports guy:I'm proud of you guys. The number of readers who e-mailed me to complain about last week's T.O. column because they didn't realize it was a parody was surprisingly low -- only 54 people in all -- although 38 people congratulated me for going out on a limb to point the finger at people other than T.O. (which is almost funnier, in a way). I just love the fact that someone wouldn't take the time to read the column carefully, yet they would find time to send me an angry e-mail about it. The Internet is fantastic.
How about a Nattysci.com t-shirt that reads:Nattysci.com (front)"A place for the drinking man and loose women" (back)
I didn't know anything about it, I just automatically had visions of someone knocking the poles over sending the tent crashing down on top of everyone, and then waking up the next morning only to find like five drunk people still passed out under the tent covered in puke, apparently maybe even shit if wade is there. wade, you'd get along with my cousin, he used to go to parties at houses he didn't know the people, and shit on top of the toilet lid, so with a long line of drunk people needing to piss, they'd all get mad when the only toilet in the house had a ring of shit on the lid.
We need a standard t-shirt that we can put various slogans on the back (I survived the B.O.D., I bet she loves the Tuscan Mule, To Rent a Tent for an Event to get Bent: Best money I ever Spent, etc.). One day posting on Natty Sci and I haven't gotten fired yet. Score one for the good guys.
I love that NattySci.com has ushered in a new era of popularity, it was getting a little bland there for a while.Douglas made some good points about the wrath we dish out at events, and despite Phil's keen observation, I still think someone is going to attempt a Tuscan Mule on something. My bet goes to Douglas. Also, I think Joe will come up with a nice little variation of the Tuscan Mule, tagged Tuscan Mule Glitter-Style.By the way, keep a look out for Sportscenter this Saturday night or Sunday for the highlights of the UC-Murray State game because I'm planning to do something over-the-top and it better make a damn highlight.
some people from work were interested in getting Bent at the Tent. I don't know if they can roll with us? There might be casualties. There is a first for everything though.
Jesus Brock....Don't you remember what happened last time you tried to give Zempher a Tuscan Mule on National T.V.?Will you ever learn?
oh, that reminds me to get a hold of the official lawyer of natty sci about the waivers.
definately need waivers.
that would be in my best interest to keep on file. Anybody a notary?
Joe we can simply use a witness, who will also sign, as opposed to a notary, which is the same thing actually.
sweet, just watching my ass
Just to be on the safe sidehttp://www.ehow.com/how_11155_becom...ary-public.html
I know tonight isn't rockstar status, but is anybody just rolling typical natty sci style tonight?
I can hear the stories as the BOD gang walks down the streets of Falls City..."there were about 10 of them..poor Betsy couldn't move quick enough...they encircled and she got muled! Never seen anything like it in my life...it's a shame...but in a kinky kind of way."
Tuscan Mules Mother??http://users.ez2.net/louetta/packmu...er's%20mule.JPG
Wade's early attempts at the Tuscan Mule...?http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/20.../30/donkey5.jpg
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/colu...&id=2226626isn't this what it is all about?
All right!! There is a promising career in my future:http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051118...le_nm/fleiss_dcThat is fantastic.
brock, i'm flattered that you think I would be the one in a drunken stupor to perform amazing feats of drunkenness, and if we're getting bent in the tent, I promise I won't disappoint. As for the waivers, does that count for only the stupid things done on joe's property, or the entire neighborhood? Will the waivers cover any damage done to the 13-yr. old neighbor's daughters?? I need to know...
The point of the waiver is to remove all liability from Joe. Therefore, you are responsibile for you own stupid actions and if you get hurt on his property from partying like a rock star, you can't file a law suit against Joe. So the waiver only covers his property, whatever retarded shit you do elsewhere is handled by others.
Phil, I have a pretty decent shirt design. I need you email, so you can check it out.
I guess I should change that to whatever retarded shit WE do elsewhere.
here's an excerpt for sex, drugs and cocoa puffs for big jay and joe: http://www.powells.com/biblio?show=...mp;page=excerpt
The tent is fucking brilliant...Joanna had one at her graduation that would probably work really well, and probably not too expensive. Of course, by opening up the backyard, bringing in heaters, and trying to get a local paper there, we will have to make this a New year's to top all others. I mean we need to invite more people and have more boozing than ever before. All our biggest parties all rolled into one.
I thought most of the waiver was people driving home. If a drunk person leaves my house and does something, don't I technically hold some responsibility? And by inviting more people this isn't an open party we still have some restrictions on numbers. We can't just have any douchebags walking up.
Gents,Central distribution is one of the key elements on liability. YOu guys wanna BYOB this? I mean people can wheel in their own pony kegs, kegs, and liquor machines, but they ain't yours. Old man Silas can be "The Judge" if needed but I am not sure he has been up past 10:30 in about 20 years.I got the tent covered brothers...let's figure it out.
I think Louisville needs a website like this...any takershttp://www.barstoolsports.com/artic...Waitresses/520/
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I shagged Arielle foggy-goggy style while she traded lips with Mr. Potato head.
Brebt hell yeah on the competition. Also, another thought for the tagline on the T-shirt for the general Natty Sci use..."Natty Sci...Go Home Stinky"
i'm going to go out on a limb and say that Reggie Bush might just have surpased Little on that all-purpose yardage list tonight...
oh, and plans for this weekend:it warrants mentioning that Friday is not an ideal night for going out. The night for rock star status will be wednesday. All the fine ass bitches will be out to show all their friends from home what they learned about drinking while they were away for college. The booth of doom will eat them alive.
Hell ya..of course Little did have a 75 yard punt return for TD that was called back.
he would have needed about 6 more of those punt returns to keep up with bush tonight. christ - that dude is good.
Yeah I just saw that Bush ran for a career high 294 yards...so it's easy to say that Bush is probably gonna surpass #2 and #1 (Little) with ease.
Wednesday...it is on at the Booth of Doom. Dinner at 6, half yards by 8, yards by 10...Phil, make sure they have plenty of fries and ranch dressing. Like moths to the flame, like moths to flame.
Some great commentary from football this weekend:"And Plaxico turns around and takes it from Eli Manning"I pissed myself it was so funny.
well, look what I went and did. I accidently started someone who was playing the bills. And what happened? The bills loose by 30+, and the guy I would have replaced Sproles with went off for 18 points. I am a terrible coach.
"I am a terrible coach." That is quitter talk. Shake it off Phil.
I told everyone that the GreenBarons were gonna go down like a $2 dollar whore wanting a $5 dollar bill. Screw you guys who picked him over me.I was kind of pissed this morning when I realized that I kept Anquan Boldin and Chris Brown on the bench this week who both went off for about 18 points or so apiece, but then I remembered I was playing Isaac so I knew I'd be okay.
Crazy Canadians, they are always good for a laugh.http://www.greatfallstribune.com/ap.../511200308/1024No offense Stew.
All I can say is that if Brad Johnson plays halfway decent Brock is going down like a Molly Ringwald female impersonator.
Everyone's favorite creatures. Lions, tigers, and ligers oh boy!http://www.mosnews.com/news/2005/11...shtml#treligers
John Hodgman on the daily show: http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewi...ndex.jhtml&the 700 hobo name's mentioned in the clip: http://audio60.archive.org/1/audio/.../Hobo_Names.mp3
I found this article on fark. This article focuses on the weapons used in Iraq and gives a thumbs up or down for weapons we and insurgents use based on performance. I found it interesting, didn't read beyond 11/15 though. http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/133585.php#weapons
I'm thinking we should go old school this week. For those of you who are newer, that would be going out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Granted, we're old now, and might need a couple of days to recover, but it would be worth it. Whose with me?
Family Guy fans will LOVE Life of Larryhttp://www.break.com/articles/lifeoflarry1.htmlhttp://www.break.com/articles/lifeoflarry2.html
wednesday B.O.D. night. Thursday, why wouldn't we. Friday it is a Friday we do anyways. Saturday Chris and Joanna are in town. All I am saying is all the college ladies are back in town for Thanksgiving break. What is Baxter Avenue without the Sci? We have to hold down our fort. Lets get wes out for his birthday this weekend.
Hopefully we'll see something like this during "Getting Bent in the Tent":http://college.break.com/articles/keghotties.html
I might be able to make the B.O.D., you guys have to remember that I am married and we are having turkey day at our house this year, so one could infer that Abby will be a little more crazy than usual. No way I am making it by 6 though, that is just plain stupid on my part to even try it. A showing later in the night should be possible though. Thursday - If I make it out thursday, then Joe be ready to have a roommate.Friday - Friday is crazy ass shopping day, which last year the lil lady and I were finished x-mas shopping by day after turkey day (for all the Krazy people in the world that is always the 3rd friday in November, sorry couldn't resist). This one is contingent if Abby makes me go shopping with her or if I am allowed to stay in my fortress of solitude and play Halo 2 online all day. Saturday - I've had worse reasons to drink.
I guess I will have to make my four month appearance. Frank the Tank is back!
wednesday's a given. other than derby night, best night of the year to go out in louisville. Friday is a given as well, so count me in on both nights. Because my jobs sucks, i will be working on Friday, so Thur. night I might not be able tomake the festivities, but I will be there in spirit.
I took off Friday so I can watch football all day.
I'll be coming in town early on Wednesday, so I'll give the heads up on various days throughout the weekend. Needless to say, when all the brothers are in town, there has to be lots of eating, football, Madden, drinking, and hilarity.
That's what I'm talking about. Adrian, I'm glad you might make an appearance. We're having thanksgiving at Redman's house, I'll see If I can get him out. Probably not though. And Wes, seriously, dinner's over by what? 8 or 9 o'clock? And the malls may be open later, but we don't head out till late any way. So stop using lame excuses to ditch us.
Lame excuses to ditch you guys? Xota, that's not my style. You know that as big an ass as I am I will just tell you that you guys suck and I'm going home.
GM cuts 30,000 jobs and intends to close 9 US plants.Delphi is planning to cut 24,000 jobs and reduce the average hourly way from $27 to $9. Will ford complete the hat trick?
Good call, Wes. So anyway, Ideas for GB in the T. I think we need a VIP room reserved for only the most devout and hardcore natty sci members. That includes everyone on this site. Except for Green Baron. You're a douche. I say we hook up a couple X-box's or Game cubes to the tvs in living room, and have hot chicks bring us drinks. I don't know how that falls into the whole "Central Distribution" malarky, but I still think it's a good idea. Joe, of course, has final say in all this. I'm just giving suggestions.
I know that my last comment was pretty long, but please read anyway. I promise to read yours.
I guess sometimes you just need a smokehttp://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiap...t.ap/index.html
are we gonna rent some hot chicks then? Because no offense fellas, but there don't to be an extremely large amount of hotties at our parties. I can start recruiting if you like, but the plethora of talent in E-Doug's stable isn't what it used to be, so I don't know how much help I could be. If we get hot chicks, we need to dress them in like Santa's Little Helper outfits or something.
Surely we can find some bitches this week at the B.O.D to invite over for New Years.
Eric, just see what you can do. As for the outfits, naughty elves would be nice, But i'm thinking of baby new year. Just picture it. Yeah...Yeah...That's it. Just keep thinking about it.
i am thinking about it....excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom real quick. be back in five
We need some old couches for GB in the T. Bitches I can get them, how compliant they may be is another story unless they are in fact inebriated themselves. Trust me between the tent and the french fries, they will come.We need to record my calls to the catering services requesting topless waitresses, should be good for some laughs.
Hey fellas check this out. I found this mapping service on one of the UK message boards and to make a long story short, I think we can use this map in order to mark all the places we party, party to much (puking), and rock star status. Tell me what you guys think.http://www.frappr.com/nattysci
Actually that map is gonna suck because you can only add based on zip codes. I will have to see if I can find a way to add based on street addresses.
dude if you can get that map to work that would be priceless
funny story, i have about 50% of a maping service for places we've thrown up. but I gave up because I got bored.
Wade, I'll tell you what I told douglas, do your best.
if we're getting as bent in the tent as we're talking about, we can find some fives or something, cuz i figure we'll have drank them up to at least 8's before midnight anyway
I think its kind of ironic that Phil made this post a while back:http://www.nattysci.com/displaypost.aspx?Post=54And I think those very same people are now trying to join the elite Natty Sci who have hosed down the Burket residence. We overwhelm and conquer!
Ummmm.....yah. If you wanna recruit bitches to your party.....maybe it would be better if you didn't call them bitches.Never really worked for me.
All I can say is I have a limit to the number of people to show up. This isn't an open door free for all. Also, I have to make clearance with a couple of neighbors behind me. Just a little hey there will be people over in the backyard on new years. Call me before you call the cops if we are too loud. They have had issues in the past so I need to proceed with caution.
Baron, what would you have us call them then? Sluts? Whores? or perhaps my personal favorite, cunts? Regardless of what you wanna call them, we will have some at the GBITT 06!!
I hate this article:http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051121...g_aggression_dcFrankly, they lose credibility with this statement:In a study conducted in Kenya in 2003, 57 percent of grandmothers reported caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking as forms of discipline they had used on their grandchildren.All I have to say is....how many Kenyans do you see fucking up the world, huh? Huh?? Stupid scientists. Beat your kids.
I see Joe's dilemma. You want neighbors to be aware that Jungle Boys like Lynnie will be ripping their fences down and stealing their wreaths.But since there is going to be a tent, can you construct a giant "sound barrier" or Berlin Wall in the backyard. I don't think that seems to much to ask. However, the best solution is to just invite them over and pressure them into doing keg stands.
Did Phil most that map before, might be the reason why it was vaguely in my mind. Oh well..it sucks anyways.Yeah and we just don't want to go around and invite random hoes to the new years party because random hoes bring random guys which isn't what we need or want. Random guys being in our vicinity when we are drunk = random comments = Wes saying drunk shit insisting Douglas will kick some ass = Good Ole Natty Sci Throwdown = good times = WTF Not?Oh that's right..the waiver...no random people due to the waiver. Now we have to find Dallas again, so I will atleast get to see this douchebag and laugh like everyone else go to last year. "I want to get to know you romantically"...that is just classic! Anyways, it is Joe's house so before we start inviting hoes we need to clear it with The Man The Legend t-shirt owner.
So no comments like: "Wes, that dude is punking you out"But, if D.A.R.Y.L. shows up, then I can say: "Wes, D.A.R.Y.L. is punking you out"But since Adrian will be out, I can say: "Wes, D.A.R.Y.L. is punking you out with some Big Red"And if Stew is there, I can say: "Wes, D.A.R.Y.L. is punking you out with some Big Red, you cunt"
I prefer bitches since it gives them a low starting point and they have to prove themselves worthy. I love the drunk stumbling through, "do you think you could fall in love with me, ummm no." For you ettiquette types we could send out formal invitations in calligraphy, but I didn't know if we had a solid handwriting expert on here. THe simple route is "You have been found worthy either in mind, or more importantly body, to attend Gettin' Bent in the Tent, sponsored in part by Natty Sci and Joe's House. By the way, even bitches BYOB. Go home stinky baby. Peace Out."
You all better not blow your wads too early this week. Some people better still be fit for going out on Sat night.
Don't worry, there will be plenty of splooge left for you big guy!
I never thought I'd be saying this, but I kinda want to go to Commonwealth on Sat to see UK beat Tennessee. I have a strong hunch UK's gonna pull off the upset. It stands to reason that if the Cats beat Vandy and Vandy beat UT, then UK should be able to take UT at home. I could probably make it back to PJCS in time to watch the Cards squeeze the Orange too. Hmmm. Anybody else want to do a football marathon?? Followed by drinking wherever.
Stew: While on paper your hypothetical syllogism has merit, we are talking about the Cats here. As we all know, even with the advantage of recruiting violations, UK could not win, and with the current coaching staff UK is doomed to a hit and run season. However, if you are paying for the gas, I may be willing to go and tailgate until I go tits up in K lot.
look at wes. the prophet of doom, go! Ford lays off 4,000http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs...4/1044/BUSINESS
Wade, I honestly think that Vanderbilt has a slightly better team on the field than Tennessee. UT was vastly overrated by everybody (myself included) at the beginning of the season. I was checking out my Athlon preseason magazine at work the other day because I was bored and they ranked the Vols #2! But I digress. My point was, if Little has a big game (no pun intended) and the O line can give Woodson some protection (which is a big "if"), there is no reason the Cats shouldn't win, especially with a vocal home crowd behind them. Tennessee Sucks! (Even Ryan Adams knows that!)
Ok, this might be a little concerning to UK fans and may significantly change my prediction of a Kentucky upset:
i'm retarded, here's the link:http://www.courier-journal.com/apps...011/1002/SPORTS
It also means that Woodson will not be able to make use of "the shocker" in post-game celebrations with the campus ladies. As coach Brooks pointed out, "The thumb is critical to a tight drawback on the ring finger. Without this tight pull back, the females often feel confused and the thumb is critical for the eraser flicking."
Hey Joe, how 'bout your boy Brad Johnson.
Waste of Flesh
Wow I was shocked when I saw this. Experts aren't giving UofL any love at all. They are being picked at the biggest flop this year. Of course, I don't think these guys have watched my CATS play yet.http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/20...ball/index.html
Those "experts" should not underestimate that Pitino character. He has this uncanny ability to take crap and turn it into diamonds.I'm shocked at the guy who picked a Gay flop ... there's gotta be a joke there somewhere.
well, i mean when you have a final four team picked in the top 10 with seven first year players, 60% of your team from the previous year gone....yeah, it's a pretty safe pick to say that they are going to lose a few games here and there.after seeing the first three games, no way in hell are they a top 25 team with Padgett or Palcious playing.
For UK it really shows how bad they are hurting without Morris. They don't even have a legit 5 man to play down low. Atleast with Morris in the game they have to guard the center because if not he will drop 20 on them, rebounding that's another story.
Rondo grabbed 19 rebounds last night. That is simply sick.
wes, our cats blow serious ass so far this year. no way the cards are a top 10 team, but neither is UK at this point. Fucking 3 7-footers and they pull a combined two rebounds, while rondo, the smallest dude on the court, pulls 18. WTF??I bet we lose to w. virgina tonight. i fucking hate to say it. the only thing i'm taking solace in is the fact that all tubby teams do this at the beginning of the year, and then turn it around to be #1 at the end of the season...at which point they blow it in the sweet 16.
as for pitino, it's not that he has a gift for turning dust into diamonds, his great ability lies in the fact that he makes everyone believe his team is crap, and when they turn around and win some games, he gets all the credit. Likewise, if they do suck, hey, he said they sucked, can't blame him. he was doing this back with the cats, hell he did it with the '96 team, arguably one of, if not the greatest college basketball team ever assembled. Fucking 9 pro players on that team and he had everyone believing they were overrated.
One of our customers was an ex-Pitino player back in Providence. And his quote "I hate that man". He explains that Pitino is a guy who will drain every ounce of potential from someone and then some. He believes that for the right kids who are NBA potentials then yes he could be the coach to have, however, at Providence..get real. So I believe he can find an above average player and help turn them into a superstar, i.e. Francisco Garcia. And Douglas you are right, our CATS are blowing right now but they will eventually come together. And as for WVA tonight, mountaineers are gonna take this one easily.
But on a side note..for my birthday I got Episode III xbox game..and it is pretty freaking cool. You get to play as Young Darth and Obi-Wan who are pretty spectacular and already strong.
A grown man playing video games and getting excited about it...you're my hero.
Joe, what is the capacity of people that are allowable. We need to know how many dudes to nix in order to get more ladies.
jay, i've been liking your thought process on this issue as far as improving the natty sci to drunk bitches ratio
What can I say, I learned from the master.
On average i believe we have been getting about 30 in the past. That includes the Daryls, crush, church and other random appearances. I'm saying 50 is a lot. Try to stay below 50. If we go that big Chris and I are staying reasonably sober for most of the night to hold some responsibility. Responsibilty sucks. Lets work this out this weekend. Work on some details.
So what's Xota's reasoning for improving the nattysci:drunk bitches ratio?
University of Kansas begins teaching intelligent design: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051122...t_design_course
well if we must we can put up a red velvet rope and allow the ladies a full access pass whereas the douchebags must stair at the tent from a far.
or just no douchebags at all invited?
Wouldn't that constitute all of nattysci then joe?
so basically we reserve the right to beat the living shit out of anyone showing up in a pink shit, wristband on the forearm, black undershirt, drinking powerade and vodka. Got it.
I see your point. You are of the VIP list. Don't question my authority.
Wouldn't we do that anyway.
wow - I am learning more about Joe than I ever thought I would.
that's the way i roll
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