Wanted: For Making Crappy Remakes
This is a topic that has been bothering me for a while, although you might not care about it. Because it has been a while since I have created a post, and because this is the perfect place to complain about the things stuck in my craw, I decided to talk about this. These people are wanted for the horrendous crime of doing god awful remakes of songs I like, if not love.
Rita Coolidge- You may not know her, but chances are you have heard her version of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher" (although this may or may not have been done by the Dells before he, his is the most famous version). Her version is super slow, and feels like all the soul has been sucked out of the room
Sheryl Crow- Her version of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" forced me to buy "Appetite for Destruction." She lost all credibility after this travesty.
311- Although their "Love Song" isn't horrible, it's not The Cure.
Joss Stone- Why did she feel the need do redo "Fell in Love with a Girl"? Granted, she and her band are technically better than the White Stripes, she sucked the soul out of the song by trying to give it one.
Dave Matthews- Perhaps the worst sinner on this list. "All along the Watchtower" was a big hit for Jimi Hendrix, even though crappy ass Bob Dylan wrote it. DM can suck it hard.
Jessica Simpson- You guys might think Berlin is just a city in Germany, but they, in fact, performed "Take my Breath Away" first. It might be a cheesy, corny, crappy love song, but damnit, Berlin's version was infinitely better than hers.
So, in conclusion, if you are going to do a cover, don't slow it down, and don't suck, because Big Jay will have to lay the smack down.
Posted by Jay on April 21st, around lunchtime |
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